The Results Are In!

My meeting to review my book proposal with Karen Linamen a few weeks ago went well.

Sort of.

First of all, I'm glad Karen is not the kind of person to sugarcoat the truth, and even though I realized before leaving that I would have to start my proposal over from scratch, I'm glad she was honest with me in getting me on the right track. After all, she's published over a dozen books now (I own 6) so I think she knows what she's talking about.

Secondly, Karen is a busy person, and before we left, she promised to e-mail me the template she uses for her own and her clients' proposals. It finally arrived today. I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds by having to e-mail her twice to request it, and normally I wouldn't be so pushy, but I am attending the Pikes Peak Writers Conference the weekend of April 24-25 (thanks to a very generous gift which I'll tell you about later), so I really needed the template in order to get started. After all, I didn't want to sign up for a pitch session without having my ducks in a row.

Allow me to share what Karen said about my proposal:

1. It's "unwieldy."

2. It has "too much info."

3. It's "too academic."

4. It "does not reflect my writing style."

After reading (skimming) 18 pages of proposal (12-page Overview and 6-page Synopsis) and 10 pages of sample writing, Karen shared that she didn't really get a sense of what my book was about until she got to my Sample Chapters. She said she kind of got an idea of my style from the Synopsis, but didn't realize how "great of a writer" I was until she read my manuscript. In fact, she was "surprised" at how good my writing was--I was thrilled. (At least some good came out of our meeting!)

Following the sample template in W. Terry Whalin's "Book Proposals That Sell: 21 Secrets to Speed Your Success" wasn't good enough. I thought I scored a jackpot when the agent who requested my proposal in September sent me her guidelines and it was the SAME template Terry used (with two minor changes--the information was already there, I just had to move them to different places). Alas, in making my proposal as complete and thorough as I could possibly get it, I also made it boring. *yawn*

So, in using Karen's sure-fire example to write a proposal, I'm sure that not only will it be cut down by more than half, but it will also grab the agent's/editor's attention much better and faster than my first version did.

Some major/minor changes to start:

OVERVIEW

Part I: CONTENT

1. Change "Log Line" to "Snapshot" and revise in such a way as to grab the reader and slam them to the floor. Well, that "slam" part was me, but I discovered I'm really not as restricted as I thought to 25 words or less, or to what some people call the "Elevator Pitch" (pretend you board an elevator with an agent/editor--you have 30 seconds or less to pitch your story so you better get their attention before the doors to their floor open). There's a bit of leeway, but I shouldn't abuse it. I spelled out my Premise in a three-sentence (albeit long sentences) paragraph, but by combining the two and making it a Snapshot, I can tighten it up and get to the point much quicker.

2. Do not include the Back Cover example. That was my idea, and even though I agonized with revising it several times over many days, it's a space waster.

3. Narrow my USP (Unique Selling Proposition) from 12 to 6 bulleted items.

4. For the Overview, in summarizing Parts I-V, don't include so many bulleted items per section, which include 5-10 items each.

5. The Manuscript section needs to be briefer.

6. List my best three Special Features, not all nine.

Part II: MARKET

1. Age Group is fine as is, but Characteristics and Motivation sections need to be briefer.

2. Sidebars are fine (even earned a compliment).

3. Benefits section can be condensed to one paragraph from four.

4. Affinity Groups is good, maybe remove one or two.

5. For my "Competition" section, I listed nine separate books and their authors, compared each to my own book, spelled out how mine is different, and why mine is better. Karen suggested I change it to, "I researched 17 books on this subject, and my book is different/better because..." and limit it to one paragraph. This change alone will reduce the proposal by three pages. I actually researched more than two dozen books (it was hard to choose nine for the initial proposal), and though this major cut hurts because of all the time I spent on it, I know it's for the better.

6. Endorsements are good.

Part III: Author

1. Condense Background, Previous Writing, Kudos and What Others Are Saying sections (not that there are that many accolades, but be more selective).

2. Play up Personal Marketing (this section can make or break me). I have another "public speaking" engagement to add to my list, but when I look at all my other sections (Public Outreach, Support Groups, Internet, Magazines, Radio/Television), even I get overwhelmed, so I may cut it back to something more manageable.

SYNOPSIS

1. Not many changes. Karen mentioned that she got a much better feel for my writing style after reading the Synopsis, and that somehow, I need to let more of my personality shine through in the Overview.

So, that's the good and bad. I'll take it! It wasn't as bad as I expected, and now with the templates Karen has generously shared with me, I feel I have a much better chance of having a more polished product. Lots of trimming down and condensing needed, but overall it was a productive, helpful meeting. I'm grateful for the time Karen sacrificed to meet with me, and I'm hopeful that the revised version will impress at least one agent/editor enough to the point he/she invites me to send it in.

Now about that writers conference story...I'll save that for another entry.

Do you think there's hope for me? Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, advice, and critiques.